I hate myself and I hate my life. Isolation. Desolate dreams. Obliterated hopes.
I must run away from all that hurts. Distance myself from the daggers that slowly kill.
A new start miles away from all that I know.
Kill my existence or kill myself?
Good people do good things. But good people are only good at certain things.
You can be good person but a terrible family member. You can grow and grow apart from your roots to create your own.
As a tree grows it's roots spread out. Reach out from one another, reach far far away.
I am a lonely root with no direction and path of my own. I am faulty. I am a failure. I am ALONE.
Those good people are gone doing good things in the lives of others. I am ALONE.
I have no family, as the Chinese say I am a "bare branch." DEAD END.
I can see the darkness, I dream of it often. Of being erased and eradicated from this pain.
The silence is beautiful, I picture myself surrounded by trees. Perched high on a strong sturdy branch. Taking in the beauty of nature, taking in my last breathe.
I see myself stand and take that final look, take in the last memories of a life of pain and I see my feet fall beneath me. Then nothing. Just a dangling lifeless carcass. Left to be consumed by nature. A full circle.
This dream is ever night, it's in everything that I do. As these days I do nothing. Paralyzed.
I must leave and find this tree of hope. I must find the branch that will set me free. I can not wait to go home. I can not wait to see Nanny and GG and God and PEACE.
Life is hard, Death is easy. Death is Peace. A peace that I sha'll seek and finally find. I just dont want to continue this endless battle. It's just too hard. I'm just not compatible with life. and Life goes on and everyone's life will go on. You can morn, you can hate you can curse my name and that's Ok.
It's ok because I will be FREE. There will be no more pain. There will be no more me.
I must run away from all that hurts. Distance myself from the daggers that slowly kill.
A new start miles away from all that I know.
Kill my existence or kill myself?
Good people do good things. But good people are only good at certain things.
You can be good person but a terrible family member. You can grow and grow apart from your roots to create your own.
As a tree grows it's roots spread out. Reach out from one another, reach far far away.
I am a lonely root with no direction and path of my own. I am faulty. I am a failure. I am ALONE.
Those good people are gone doing good things in the lives of others. I am ALONE.
I have no family, as the Chinese say I am a "bare branch." DEAD END.
I can see the darkness, I dream of it often. Of being erased and eradicated from this pain.
The silence is beautiful, I picture myself surrounded by trees. Perched high on a strong sturdy branch. Taking in the beauty of nature, taking in my last breathe.
I see myself stand and take that final look, take in the last memories of a life of pain and I see my feet fall beneath me. Then nothing. Just a dangling lifeless carcass. Left to be consumed by nature. A full circle.
This dream is ever night, it's in everything that I do. As these days I do nothing. Paralyzed.
I must leave and find this tree of hope. I must find the branch that will set me free. I can not wait to go home. I can not wait to see Nanny and GG and God and PEACE.
Life is hard, Death is easy. Death is Peace. A peace that I sha'll seek and finally find. I just dont want to continue this endless battle. It's just too hard. I'm just not compatible with life. and Life goes on and everyone's life will go on. You can morn, you can hate you can curse my name and that's Ok.
It's ok because I will be FREE. There will be no more pain. There will be no more me.
