In several weeks it will be 9 years since I tried to leave my pain and this world behind. It's been 9 years of HELL ON EARTH. 9 years that turned a flame into an inferno.
I'm out of faith and all that follows. I've lost myself and all that was and now I'm trapped in all THAT IS.
A hollow shell physically fused to a broken brain. I've grown weary of constant battles, constant pain and constant isolation. ALL self induced. ALL internal. ALL TOO REAL.
FUCK SCIENCE. FUCK WHOEVER IN THIS WORLD WHO CREATED THIS MADNESS:
BIPOLAR.
WHY DID YOU PICK ME??
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE LIVING SO HARD?
WHY WOULD YOU CREATE SOMETHING INCOMPATIBLE WITH LIFE?
I can't escape this pain. It's ALL that I feel. It's ALL that I see and my tormented brain never stops.
My mind, IT WON'T SHUTUP. The screaming is so loud. Painful ear piercing noise. .
I don't want to cause pain but if what I FEEL COULD BE FELT by others there would be UNDERSTANDING. Not of WHAT IS but of WHAT WILL BE and WHY.
I have no one in this life except Family my Family have their own and I, I AM ALONE. No Love, NO Children, No existence.
How do you fight Chemical Delusion?
How do you win a war against yourself?
How do you survive? Function with faulty parts?
YOU CANT.
There's just no way to win this war.
There's no way to stop this pain.
THERE'S NO WAY TO SILENCE THE DEMONS IN MY MIND.
I'm out of faith and all that follows. I've lost myself and all that was and now I'm trapped in all THAT IS.
A hollow shell physically fused to a broken brain. I've grown weary of constant battles, constant pain and constant isolation. ALL self induced. ALL internal. ALL TOO REAL.
FUCK SCIENCE. FUCK WHOEVER IN THIS WORLD WHO CREATED THIS MADNESS:
BIPOLAR.
WHY DID YOU PICK ME??
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE LIVING SO HARD?
WHY WOULD YOU CREATE SOMETHING INCOMPATIBLE WITH LIFE?
I can't escape this pain. It's ALL that I feel. It's ALL that I see and my tormented brain never stops.
My mind, IT WON'T SHUTUP. The screaming is so loud. Painful ear piercing noise. .
I don't want to cause pain but if what I FEEL COULD BE FELT by others there would be UNDERSTANDING. Not of WHAT IS but of WHAT WILL BE and WHY.
I have no one in this life except Family my Family have their own and I, I AM ALONE. No Love, NO Children, No existence.
How do you fight Chemical Delusion?
How do you win a war against yourself?
How do you survive? Function with faulty parts?
YOU CANT.
There's just no way to win this war.
There's no way to stop this pain.
THERE'S NO WAY TO SILENCE THE DEMONS IN MY MIND.
There's no way to stop the inevitable.
To force someone to live a life a pain.
To force a smile through tears.
To say "I'M OK" when I am NOT.
To stop the clock that's counting down.
I AM DONE. I WANT PEACE.
I WANT HEAVEN.
and my Heaven IS NOT on this Earth and it was never meant to be.
