Wrapping my hair in a bow seemed like a creative and clever flair to add to my work attire today. At 4am it just seemed right, as most things do when you're only half there waiting for the awakening of what's left.
This bow wrapped around my delicate ego and tied a knot in my protective barrier. I tried to walk tall while my head played a balancing act upon the tip of my spine. The subtle drafts of the wind continually shaking this tightrope of self importance.
Now this bow which once felt right has gone so wrong. Laughter and jokes followed my every move sending the balancing act crashing to the floor. What was humerus to them felt like casting stones to me. Every giggle bounced off the wall and reverberated through me.
A magnification of insults to the bipolar wallflower.
They didn't know what's been living inside me. They don't know what tortures me everyday. No one does and I fear no one ever will.
We are all just passerby's with mere seconds of existence to each other. Yet to some, like me, it's those seconds that last forever.
The day is now done but my mind has just begun. Spinning. Spiraling. Shuttering. Shifting.
The evolution from strength to weakness and direction to uncertainty. It's always two steps forward and three leaps back. A line dance set to the rhythm of eternal chaos. I'm the girl who's stumbling on the dance floor unable to keep the movements flowing.
A Dancing Dunderhead.
My life is like a bow. It folds within itself to hold steady while being pulled apart at the seams.
Focus holds great importance within the next few days yet I can't focus on anything at all. My mind is here and there then blank and black. It's red, white and beaten blue.
Understanding is a process with no return. There is no understanding in what can't be understood. There is no escaping from the inescapable. You can escape all that's around you but you can not escape yourself.
My life is now the sap that holds me hostage on the fly trap of insanity.
I'm not sure where these words are going and I'm not sure where I am as well.
Welcome back Despair.
This bow wrapped around my delicate ego and tied a knot in my protective barrier. I tried to walk tall while my head played a balancing act upon the tip of my spine. The subtle drafts of the wind continually shaking this tightrope of self importance.
Now this bow which once felt right has gone so wrong. Laughter and jokes followed my every move sending the balancing act crashing to the floor. What was humerus to them felt like casting stones to me. Every giggle bounced off the wall and reverberated through me.
A magnification of insults to the bipolar wallflower.
They didn't know what's been living inside me. They don't know what tortures me everyday. No one does and I fear no one ever will.
We are all just passerby's with mere seconds of existence to each other. Yet to some, like me, it's those seconds that last forever.
The day is now done but my mind has just begun. Spinning. Spiraling. Shuttering. Shifting.
The evolution from strength to weakness and direction to uncertainty. It's always two steps forward and three leaps back. A line dance set to the rhythm of eternal chaos. I'm the girl who's stumbling on the dance floor unable to keep the movements flowing.
A Dancing Dunderhead.
My life is like a bow. It folds within itself to hold steady while being pulled apart at the seams.
Focus holds great importance within the next few days yet I can't focus on anything at all. My mind is here and there then blank and black. It's red, white and beaten blue.
Understanding is a process with no return. There is no understanding in what can't be understood. There is no escaping from the inescapable. You can escape all that's around you but you can not escape yourself.
My life is now the sap that holds me hostage on the fly trap of insanity.
I'm not sure where these words are going and I'm not sure where I am as well.
Welcome back Despair.
