***WARNING: suicidal references. reader discretion advised.***
Pure honesty is what these words will entail. The truthful vibrations that pierce my heart.
Neglect. Dereliction. Lethargy. Apathy.
The desire of imaginative expression is lost within my self induced cognitive impairment.
There's no blame game. No he said she said bullshit just the truth.
The verdict of this parlous jury is unanimous.
I'm guilty.
These past few months I've let myself rot like an emaciated animal in a rusty cage. I've let my brain slowly starve my body. It's dying. I'm dying.
Everything that was and is is now gone. I can't see past myself because I haven't got the strength to. If inner strength gives birth to motivational yearning then weakness spawns hopeless scenarios.
I'm tired. These are just simple words but words fueled by a fire that's incinerating my soul.
Blurred vision dilutes the Clarity I swore I saw. Beautiful eyes now painted with graphite. Cold, hard lifeless stone.
I've kept telling myself "I won't let it get to that point" yet here I stand stranded at the crossroads. Something has to change. I'm on the brink of an emotional revolution with an exhausted army that's worked to the bone.
I'm forced to drink the poison of reality. Hannibal's demise.
Weakness is another simplistic word that holds profound meaning in my world.
Movement is a miracle. Stagnant sedation. I'm fighting to stand with ketamine pumping through my veins.
I've penciled in an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist. I'm shaking in tears while viciously circling the calendar. Doom's day.
Tomorrow something's changing. It has to. There's no longer a pace to this frantic race. It's now a tombstone in the road.
Kill life as I know it or kill myself. A suicide of life to save my own.
Pure honesty is what these words will entail. The truthful vibrations that pierce my heart.
Neglect. Dereliction. Lethargy. Apathy.
The desire of imaginative expression is lost within my self induced cognitive impairment.
There's no blame game. No he said she said bullshit just the truth.
The verdict of this parlous jury is unanimous.
I'm guilty.
These past few months I've let myself rot like an emaciated animal in a rusty cage. I've let my brain slowly starve my body. It's dying. I'm dying.
Everything that was and is is now gone. I can't see past myself because I haven't got the strength to. If inner strength gives birth to motivational yearning then weakness spawns hopeless scenarios.
I'm tired. These are just simple words but words fueled by a fire that's incinerating my soul.
Blurred vision dilutes the Clarity I swore I saw. Beautiful eyes now painted with graphite. Cold, hard lifeless stone.
I've kept telling myself "I won't let it get to that point" yet here I stand stranded at the crossroads. Something has to change. I'm on the brink of an emotional revolution with an exhausted army that's worked to the bone.
I'm forced to drink the poison of reality. Hannibal's demise.
Weakness is another simplistic word that holds profound meaning in my world.
Movement is a miracle. Stagnant sedation. I'm fighting to stand with ketamine pumping through my veins.
I've penciled in an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist. I'm shaking in tears while viciously circling the calendar. Doom's day.
Tomorrow something's changing. It has to. There's no longer a pace to this frantic race. It's now a tombstone in the road.
Kill life as I know it or kill myself. A suicide of life to save my own.
