My words drift into the silence. No longer read. No longer heard. There's nothing more to say.
My pain has made me dead walking amongst the living. Suicide is not selfish, the stigma paints it to be this way. Those who choose to end their lives do so because the pain is unbearable. I've been so selfless suffering every minute of everyday for those I love. I bare the scars of protection that have killed the girl I once was.
Nothing is the same nor will it ever be. I never meant to hurt anyone I only wanted to help. I distanced myself to protect those I love. So my existence was already faded into memories.
I'll always live in the hearts of those that love me. I'll always be alive in their memories. Though they may hate and they may be angry one day they will understand.
I've endlessly written my life onto hundreds of pages. I've left the truth, I've left all that was and all that I am in black and white.
In the truth lies understanding. In the end there is peace, there is no more pain.
I am not weak, I've been stronger than anyone has realized fighting myself every day to just move and breathe. I can no longer feel. My emotions fled my body so long ago. It's only a faint memory of what it was like to feel alive. I no longer do. I no longer can.
I am so sorry, to the few that can read these words. Don't let yourselves get to the point of no return.
My only hope is that my story is heard, my videos is shared and eyes are opened to an awareness that is too often over looked.
It's time for change. It's time to wake up. It's time for me to lay myself to rest. It's time for my peace to be found.
Boo,
You are the only one that can see this as of now but Mom has all ways to access all that I've written. My story to be told in hopes that it can save others though I couldn't save myself. I am so very sorry. I would never wish to cause you any pain. Your birthday is nearing and the 4 year mark of the day that forever changed my life. Please do not let my decision taint a day that's meant for you to celebrate you and wonderful, amazing, beautiful person you are. Just know that I love you so very much and I always, always will. I will be among the clouds, within the heavens watching over you. You will never be alone. Please don't be angry with me. I know that of everyone you are the one that holds the power of understanding and helping others understand through all that I've written and left. You are the one that can tell my story. I love you so much, so very, very very much. You will always be my little Boo. My little sister I tried to protect, love and support. Please forgive me.
I love you, always.
My pain has made me dead walking amongst the living. Suicide is not selfish, the stigma paints it to be this way. Those who choose to end their lives do so because the pain is unbearable. I've been so selfless suffering every minute of everyday for those I love. I bare the scars of protection that have killed the girl I once was.
Nothing is the same nor will it ever be. I never meant to hurt anyone I only wanted to help. I distanced myself to protect those I love. So my existence was already faded into memories.
I'll always live in the hearts of those that love me. I'll always be alive in their memories. Though they may hate and they may be angry one day they will understand.
I've endlessly written my life onto hundreds of pages. I've left the truth, I've left all that was and all that I am in black and white.
In the truth lies understanding. In the end there is peace, there is no more pain.
I am not weak, I've been stronger than anyone has realized fighting myself every day to just move and breathe. I can no longer feel. My emotions fled my body so long ago. It's only a faint memory of what it was like to feel alive. I no longer do. I no longer can.
I am so sorry, to the few that can read these words. Don't let yourselves get to the point of no return.
My only hope is that my story is heard, my videos is shared and eyes are opened to an awareness that is too often over looked.
It's time for change. It's time to wake up. It's time for me to lay myself to rest. It's time for my peace to be found.
Boo,
You are the only one that can see this as of now but Mom has all ways to access all that I've written. My story to be told in hopes that it can save others though I couldn't save myself. I am so very sorry. I would never wish to cause you any pain. Your birthday is nearing and the 4 year mark of the day that forever changed my life. Please do not let my decision taint a day that's meant for you to celebrate you and wonderful, amazing, beautiful person you are. Just know that I love you so very much and I always, always will. I will be among the clouds, within the heavens watching over you. You will never be alone. Please don't be angry with me. I know that of everyone you are the one that holds the power of understanding and helping others understand through all that I've written and left. You are the one that can tell my story. I love you so much, so very, very very much. You will always be my little Boo. My little sister I tried to protect, love and support. Please forgive me.
I love you, always.
