I'm starring in the mirror watching the shadows bounce of the silhouette standing before me. I move, she moves. I blink, she blinks. Faint whispers in my ear are saying
"Who is she?"
"Who is that?"
and instinctively I speak out "I don't know."
Nothing is familiar these days. No taste, smell or sound seems what it was and it feels like a decade since I've been touched. I've been walking in circles though it's taken years for the track to finally show.
So here I stand looking at the line that's at the tip of my toes. Smudged in the dirt somewhere are the words "Finish" and "Start" and I realize I've been running this same routine, this same circular motion forever. Running and waiting for the little man upon the cloud to say "final lap."
Now I'm frozen stiff and stuck to this line as if I never left it.
"Put one foot in front of the other" the whispers say, "Move forward."
Yet I still stand stiff and fixed upon this line.
I've been transfixed for so long that something has to push from this position. Something has to speak to my soul. Something has to break the shackles from my ankles and set me free.
I'm aware that I am the only one who can free myself. I have to find the strength to pick up the mallet and break these chains. Break myself so that I can become new and maybe one day whole.
My eyes have to envision the race before the finish and not the finish before the race.
Move forward, Bella, Move forward.
"Who is she?"
"Who is that?"
and instinctively I speak out "I don't know."
Nothing is familiar these days. No taste, smell or sound seems what it was and it feels like a decade since I've been touched. I've been walking in circles though it's taken years for the track to finally show.
So here I stand looking at the line that's at the tip of my toes. Smudged in the dirt somewhere are the words "Finish" and "Start" and I realize I've been running this same routine, this same circular motion forever. Running and waiting for the little man upon the cloud to say "final lap."
Now I'm frozen stiff and stuck to this line as if I never left it.
"Put one foot in front of the other" the whispers say, "Move forward."
Yet I still stand stiff and fixed upon this line.
I've been transfixed for so long that something has to push from this position. Something has to speak to my soul. Something has to break the shackles from my ankles and set me free.
I'm aware that I am the only one who can free myself. I have to find the strength to pick up the mallet and break these chains. Break myself so that I can become new and maybe one day whole.
My eyes have to envision the race before the finish and not the finish before the race.
Move forward, Bella, Move forward.
